Life ReIgnited: My Story of Victory Over Domestic Violence

(revised 10/2015…original blog post published 2012)

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THE BACK STORY…

I was a victim of domestic violence and abuse for almost 30 years; 4 years as a teenager by my boyfriend, who later became my husband of 15 years and 10 years post divorce. I was 16 when this first began and 35, when I finally got the sense and the courage to leave. However, the affects of the abuse weren’t quite over after that. It has taken almost 20 years, post divorce to really and truly begin to regain my life. It wasn’t until around 2006-2007 that my abuser actively stopped his pursuit to destroy me for leaving him.

In hindsight, there are a plethora of unreasonable reasons why I stayed in this relationship and married my abuser and why it took me so long to get out of it (physically and mentally) and why I kept it a secret for a long time, mainly out of fear, judgment and most of all hope, hope that he would change and life with him would get better.

The blessing of it all, is I lived through it, to become the woman I am today and the greatest blessing from this experience is that 2 beautiful children were born into the world and they lived through it and flourished in spite of it.

Yet, there are hundreds of thousands of women who didn’t and still don’t make it and that’s why I tell my story, in an effort of raising awareness for women and girls out there who may be headed down a familiar road.

MORE OF THE STORY…

In May 1997 on Mother’s day and the day after I received my Master’s Degree in Counseling, I was severely assaulted by my husband and ended up in a hospital emergency room and that’s when I finally decided, this was the last time and I would never go back and I didn’t. It took years of spiritual healing, relocating, gut-wrenching sacrifices and a heartbreaking choice that involved surrendering to the threats, nasty court battles and continous custody violations to save the lives of my two children as well as my own, to keep us all alive.

In 1995, just a few years before my marriage ended, I began to actively help women like me who didn’t know I was also being abused. I know now that I was also seeking help for myself in addition to helping them; it was the beginning of the end of this extremely unhealthy and undeserving life as I knew it.

Over the years, because of those experiences, I’ve had many financial hardships and had to overcome much of the emotional harm just to face those who knew the truth of what happened, yet they still judged me in the aftermath. It is very difficult to describe the level of strength and courage it takes to do that, but for a battered woman to truly live on, it must be done.

A NEW STORY; MY LIFE REIGNITED…

Today, I have a beautiful new story to tell and the miracle of my life speaks for itself. Although it was and still is extremely difficult at times, I never give up hope, I never stop trusting in my faith and in myself and I never stop doing the hard work I need to do to forgive myself and my ex-husband in order to authentically and truthfully heal.

My children are amazing young adults now, I am extremely grateful to God for that and we are making new memories together. I am living the essence of my dreams, looking forward to more beautiful experiences and by sharing my real and authentic life lessons, I have made it my life’s work with every opportunity I get to inspire and educate women to make wiser choices and empower them to live a better life.

Living through an experience like this is never easy, and as much as I have healed and accomplished since, my journey of healing from it all, continues to this day.

The key to winning and overcoming a life of pain is faith, never giving up and continuing the work necessary to heal it.

ReTina Broussard aka “ReTina ReIgnites”

Founder of ReIgnite A Life Foundation,Writer, Social Commentator, Speaker and Artist…

STAY TUNED…MY FIRST BOOK COMING SOON…

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Copyright 2015, ReTina Broussard. All Rights Reserved.

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20 thoughts on “Life ReIgnited: My Story of Victory Over Domestic Violence

  1. I just say thank you for being where you are today – you are a survivor – one of the ones who did make it. Your work is so necessary. I grew up watching my own parents fight towards the end of their marriage and as a little girl it wasn’t easy to watch or feel so helpless. I also had to relearn how to express myself and work through conflict in relationships. Children are always watching and recording. So I commend you on successfully shielding your children from soaking in what they saw and repeating it. Thank you for sharing your story. Peace and many more Blessings to come.

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    1. Thank you Annette, it is not easy to put myself out there, but it is worth it for my own continued healing and the awareness and healing of others. I pray my children become more and more aware of themselves as you did so amazingly and correct any behaviors that may arise as life goes on. As you know, it is impossible to live in that environment and not be affected in some way, but heighten awareness, therapy and spiritual work can change how we live in spite of it.

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  2. This is touching. I’m amazed at how your children still flourished in spite of it. I am a product of an domestic violence & an abusive marriage. My mother never fought back, in fact she was subservient to my father. He was a tyrant & we lived in terror. As an adult, my childhood has damaged me in so many ways. What was the “secret sauce” for your children?

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    1. Thank you for sharing. The only answering I have is that my faith and trust in a Higher Power to protect them and help them grow is the “secret sauce”…they were affected on some levels, just not as much as it could have been. These things are hard to put in a box. Everyone’s experience is different. I hope you continue to heal from this and live the best life meant for you. ❤

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      1. As a child I developed resentment issues toward my mother bc she never saved or protected us. I don’t know how to shake it. I’ve even married a man who just like my father (go figure) but I refused to be my mother so I divorced immediately. Thank God no kids come of it. Now that I have a son, I guess he’s the man in my life. He’s my security blanket. I’m afraid to date again, remarry so I just throw myself into my work & son. I just arrived at that conclusion not very long ago.

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        1. One huge thing to accept as it relates to your mother is to get to the place where you can truly understand and empathize with her, that she did the best she knew at the time. She was a victim as well as you by the same man during the same time. We are all wired differently, and she was probably paralized with fear. It is just ao complicated to figure out why, but the sooner you start to put yourself in her shoes, find compassion and forgive her and release the resentment. That may be the breakthrough you need to be open to love again. You are half way there…your awareness of what you realized about yourself is a huge starting point.

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  3. that was amazing i am glad i finally left my husband but now since i left him he is trying to destroy me in divorce court and he is denying everything that he ever did i cant forgive him or forget any of the things he did in our marriagae since i dont have proof of anything he did i dont know what to do when we go to court.

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    1. The court system is merely “political” & not designed to protect it’s TRUE victims. Sad but true. I empathize with u bc, like a pendulum, things can go either way. Only thing I can say is hire a good attorney.

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  4. Funny to meet someone whose story is so very close to my own. And seeming to have the same passion for helping women and girls through the same field. Wow. Wish I’d been able to spend more time getting to know you. But I’ll keep using your footsteps as a marker for my own journey. Thank you

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  5. Amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing- I know there are many out there who can relate and need to see that getting out of a harmful relationship can be done. I admire your strength and wisdom.

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